Why I Use She/They Pronouns

Disclaimer: The following is a personal account of my own gender identity and does not represent the rationale for any other person's gender identity or expression.

Simply put, gender is a social construct—a label that I choose not to subscribe to. The binary notion of gender often feels restrictive and odd to me. Today, I identify as genderqueer or gender non-conforming.

As Hunter Ashleigh Shackelford states in their essay Giving Birth to Language, “There are as many genders as there are people. Gender is not the absence of or presence of, but rather an affirmation within yourself. Your gender is ever evolving, mutating, transitioning, at war, at peace, but always at home because it lives within you.” Gender is not a fixed point. Gender is not genitalia. If we view gender as a set of norms, behaviors, and roles imposed by society, then my gender is not to be imposed upon. Identifying as non-conforming feels authentic to my experience through life, and as a result, my gender.

So why do I use she/they pronouns?

I use she/her pronouns because of the way I was socially raised. Assigned female at birth, I don’t experience dysphoria regarding my gender, so these pronouns feel comfortable…it is what I am used to. However, solely using she/her seems to erase the complexity of my identity and goes against my belief of gender being made up. Gender, after all, is merely a role we perform, and I embrace a multifaceted existence.